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I’m on the struggle bus lately with the comparison bug. I’m not proud to admit it, but it’s true. I seem to be riddled with insecurities about everything and am looking outward to try to find justification, or a quick fix to my uncertainties. Weird, right? Normally, I’m usually a confident person. Like, almost overly confident…to the point I’m oblivious to a lot of things. I don’t notice things like my hair a mess…or my skirt tucked in my underwear (another story for another day..), and up to this point in my life, I’ve been okay with all of that, very content. But now, I feel like I’m in limbo a bit with my ability to process how I’m fitting into this world.
Is it because I’m aging? Maybe. I did notice an age spot on my cheek bone a few weeks ago that threw me into a tizzy. Is it because I want a vacation with unlimited buffet and ice cream? Possibly yes…I mean, let’s be real here..who doesn’t want that??
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But, seriously, what’s going on? Why the constant comparison?
Physically, I’m tall. Lanky. Clumsy – I trip over the floor when I walk constantly. I have short hair (short hair, don’t care), plain brown eyes, a nose that goes on for miles and a laugh louder than most people’s yells. I have nubs for nails and flipper feet, and I love all those aspects about me….Seriously, I do. I love being unique…I love being the tall friend, being asked to get things off the top shelf. (At least once a day I get asked to get something “off the top shelf” for someone….job security! I’ll take it!)
Mentally, I’m all here. Books smarts are a-okay (MBA degree) and I have a quick witty tongue. I’m full of sass and sarcasm and usually don’t know when to stop either one.
Emotionally is about what you’d expect of a coffee addicted mother of 2 young children in her mid-thirties.. 🙂
Financially, I’m frugal but fine. Aware of limitations and costs but don’t have to worry about searching the couch cushions for gas money, so it’s all easy peasy.
Socially, I’m down for fun. I tortured myself by watching “It”, I like to live on the edge. 😉
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So, what’s the deal? Why have I been comparing myself lately to others? I’m intrigued that I’m doing this because I don’t understand why I’m doing this. (Follow that? HA! :-)) I’m not a negative person and in comparison, I don’t feel negativity towards myself for doing it. It’s. Just. Happening.
Is it the grass is always greener scenario? Is it that my life is going well and I’m addicted to some form of drama so I’m trying to find ways to internally create it? Or, am I over-reacting and creating something that truly isn’t anything?? Time will tell right? Unless you….yes, you…want to tell me what you think? I’m all ears here. (seriously, I am…they kinda stick out a bit… ;-)) I’d love some insight into the randomness of my thoughts.
Why do you think people compare themselves to others? Do you do this?