Comparison – Quit Stealing my Thunder

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I’m on the struggle bus lately with the comparison bug.  I’m not proud to admit it, but it’s true.  I seem to be riddled with insecurities about everything and am looking outward to try to find justification, or a quick fix to my uncertainties.  Weird, right?  Normally, I’m usually a confident person.  Like, almost overly confident…to the point I’m oblivious to a lot of things.  I don’t notice things like my hair a mess…or my skirt tucked in my underwear (another story for another day..), and up to this point in my life, I’ve been okay with all of that, very content.  But now, I feel like I’m in limbo a bit with my ability to process how I’m fitting into this world.

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Is it because I’m aging?  Maybe.  I did notice an age spot on my cheek bone a few weeks ago that threw me into a tizzy.  Is it because I want a vacation with unlimited buffet and ice cream?  Possibly yes…I mean, let’s be real here..who doesn’t want that??

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But, seriously, what’s going on?   Why the constant comparison?

Physically, I’m tall.  Lanky.  Clumsy – I trip over the floor when I walk constantly.  I have short hair (short hair, don’t care), plain brown eyes, a nose that goes on for miles and a laugh louder than most people’s yells.  I have nubs for nails and flipper feet, and I love all those aspects about me….Seriously, I do. I love being unique…I love being the tall friend, being asked to get things off the top shelf.  (At least once a day I get asked to get something “off the top shelf” for someone….job security! I’ll take it!)

Mentally,  I’m all here.  Books smarts are a-okay (MBA degree) and I have a quick witty tongue. I’m full of sass and sarcasm and usually don’t know when to stop either one.

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Emotionally is about what you’d expect of a coffee addicted mother of 2 young children in her mid-thirties.. 🙂

Financially, I’m frugal but fine.  Aware of limitations and costs but don’t have to worry about searching the couch cushions for gas money, so it’s all easy peasy.

Socially, I’m down for fun.  I tortured myself by watching “It”, I like to live on the edge. 😉

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So, what’s the deal?  Why have I been comparing myself lately to others?  I’m intrigued that I’m doing this because I don’t understand why I’m doing this.  (Follow that? HA! :-))  I’m not a negative person and in comparison, I don’t feel negativity towards myself for doing it.  It’s. Just. Happening.

Is it the grass is always greener scenario?  Is it that my life is going well and I’m addicted to some form of drama so I’m trying to find ways to internally create it?  Or, am I over-reacting and creating something that truly isn’t anything??  Time will tell right?  Unless you….yes, you…want to tell me what you think?  I’m all ears here.  (seriously, I am…they kinda stick out a bit… ;-))  I’d love some insight into the randomness of my thoughts.

Why do you think people compare themselves to others?  Do you do this?

Comparison

 

79 thoughts on “Comparison – Quit Stealing my Thunder

  1. Jenni says:

    You are not alone. I always compare myself to others and a lot more nowadays than before. I’m not too sure how to stop to be honest so I’m afraid I cannot give any good advice. Other than you have people who love you just the way you are! You should love yourself too, and if you don’t try figure out what would make you more confident and happier with yourself?

  2. Erin Ek Rush says:

    Humm.. I think I go through cycles of feeling dissatisfied/comparing myself when it’s usually not what I’m about. Maybe a good take away would be that you’re ready for a change somewhere? (Haha.. or not and I have no idea what I’m talking about!)

  3. June says:

    I have definitely found myself caught in the comparison trap before. And it’s not fun. However, I eventually realized that I am not getting anything out of comparing myself to others. It really just puts me down. So I am making an effort to not compare myself to others. Rather than comparing myself I am working on becoming the best version of me (:

  4. The green Eyed Monster says:

    Hmmm I can’t really give us any answers, but I have been feeling this deeply against a family member myself. I see people praising her for the things she does… and I am over trying as hard as I can to push my adventures and website and I see no positive feedback. My husband and I have discussed it and ( I have to choose my words carefully here) and think it is because well she is a bigger person and I’m smaller in physical appearance. It seems people who are bigger get praised more than a smaller person when they do any physical kind of activity. I am happy for her that she is trying to lose weight, but I feel if I was to get fit that my family would have no positive words to say and it sucks because they have no idea how hard it was for me to get where I am. Losing weight or gaining muscle is not easy for anyone. I say all that to say that because she is trying to lose weight she is doing a lot of activities that I do on my website and see people saying to her,” I love following your adventures”, while I have a hard time getting people to say things like that. I understand people are trying to be encouraging, but it still makes me super jealous. I am some what confident since out of high school, until I started gaining weight and people thought I was pregnant. I shouldn’t be jealous though because I am at the point where my website should be progressing here soon. So why do we do this?

  5. daneen rogers says:

    I think this is something we all do from time to time, I know I do. I don’t always do it in a “why does she have more/better/easier than me type of way, more like..if I had her job, would I do that….or, if I had her money, would I drive that…kwim?

  6. Herlina Kwee says:

    I suppose it’s just a basic human nature to compare ourselves with others. Social media doesn’t help either. It’s hard to see your friends’ perfect life snapshots (happy family, tropical vacations, etc.) and not compare it with your own life (and see how left behind you are in terms of life achievements). I had to do a Facebook detox when my own life was crumbling. But, at the end of the day, it’s just what it is. Snapshots. What they post on FB are just snapshots of their happiest moments. We never know what’s actually going on behind the close door. I learned to believe in my own value, trust in my own journey and stop comparing myself to others. We each have our own moment to shine.

  7. Ashley Rae says:

    I think we all steal our own thunder by comparing ourselves ro others every once in a while! The important thing is to recognize it, stop it, and remember that we are all perfectly imperfect!

  8. Shibani says:

    I’m surely just like you, always comparing myself to others, not because I don’t like myself or inferiority complex. Though I don’t know the reason, maybe because we expect too much we crave for too many things ..go knows. But you’re not alone in this!!

  9. Paola says:

    I know what you mean and I feel you. I am in my mid 30es as well and I have learnt only recently not to compare myself to anybody else anymore. I use to do it and I would find any little excuses to put myself down. Now I am conscious of who I am, proud of it, happy about it, I embrace my differences. You are unique in the world, celebrate yourself, your small and big achievements, you are a mum, be proud of the love you are capable of. <3
    Paola recently posted…Backpacking in Malaysia: 48 hours in Kuala LumpurMy Profile

  10. Courtney says:

    I would have to agree that it’s something we all do from time to time. I find myself comparing my parenting to others more than I want. Nobody’s perfect, though, and that’s something we just need to remember! Awesome post!

  11. Lynne says:

    Ad I have gotten older I think I do his much more than I did in my younger days. I try and tell myself off, we are all unique and all have positive qualities that need embracing

  12. Tiffany Yong says:

    I love how you share your personal thoughts and feelings with something to take back at the end of the article! It’s so relatable and I am feeling the same way (exasperation and lack of confidence in myself) recently!

  13. Scenes From Nadine (Nadine Smith) says:

    It’s perfectly normal to compare yourself to other people. But always remember that: a) those people you compare yourself to are not perfect. They have their own flaws and problems too, and b) you are unique. You are special and there is no one else out there like you. 🙂 Easier said than done, but it helps to remember that!

  14. Grace says:

    I don’t compare myself to others as everybody has it’s own lifepath and we are all unique. What I do have lately is looking at where I stand in life what did I achieve, what do I still want to do etc… I think that I do this because I’m turning 35 in two months.

  15. Nicole Flint says:

    I’m always comparing myself to others and it’s something that I have to stop doing. But we’re all human and it happens.

  16. Jen Temcio says:

    I compare myself to others in the way that you are saying… without even realizing it! It is what I do with that information afterword that matters I suppose… to not feel better than someone, or bad about myself…but to take the comparison and decide if I want to allow it to be a motivation to a change that I want or to simply let it go. If I notice someone else has pretty nails I REALLY want to get mine done, but I can’t afford it and I type much faster without them so I admire them and move on.
    Jen Temcio recently posted…Healthy PB&J Smoothie for the FamilyMy Profile

  17. steve walters says:

    I get stuck in this mind set so often, constantly comparing myself to others. Not materially anymore, but physically . My gut is too big, my chest and arms are too small… it becomes too much. I can become so negative.

  18. Care Calm says:

    Comparing yourself with others is a natural human instinct. I believe that we are born this way. If there would be no comparison then none of us would strive to become the best.

  19. Amy Dong says:

    Yes, it’s absolutely called “grass is greener” syndrome, and we all have fallen prey to it in our lives at some point. Probably more often that we’d like 🙂 I definitely catch myself doing that sometimes, but a few years ago, I finally reached a season in life where I recognize it for what it is, and change perspective. Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing.
    Amy Dong recently posted…30-Minute One-Pan Salsa Verde ChickenMy Profile

  20. Joline says:

    You know…I blame social media. We see all these happy pictures of happy lives so even if our lives are perfectly fine, we are made to feel inadequate. Which is why I’ve really cut back on social media lately!

  21. Rachel says:

    I think it is human nature to compare ourselves with one another, it isn’t always a bad thing and if we accept we are not all perfect, it can be a good thing x

  22. Angela Milnes says:

    The grass is not greener. I know this! I try not to compare too but it can be hard. I enjoyed this post and it’s just the type of thing I enjoy reading. I too am frugal and I think it’s a good thing to be able to budget and manage money well. Angela – The Inspiration Edit.

  23. Tanya @ Intimate Explorations says:

    I think comparison is natural. I think what you do with that comparison is what can help or hurt you. I compare all the time, but I don’t invalidate myself through comparison anymore. Instead, I use comparison to help me better understand my own strengths and to appreciate other’s strengths. I also use comparison to clarify my own values and priorities. I think comparison is extremely useful, but using it to invalidate yourself can be completely unproductive.
    Tanya @ Intimate Explorations recently posted…Hot Topic: How Do The Sexes Talk About Sex?My Profile

  24. Carol Cassara says:

    Sometimes I think it’s self doubt. Like we’ve lost that thing that makes us feel confident and it makes us question our actions and how we are doing compared to others. It’s something that we definitely need to overcome.
    Carol Cassara recently posted…How to enjoy lifeMy Profile

  25. Cottagegardentrio says:

    It is so hard not to compare yourself though isn’t it? Especially when others seem to be doing so much better at certain things than you. I think the happier you become less worried about how others are doing?

  26. Tanvi Rastogi says:

    I think we all go through it … we all want something … which someone else has … but to not let is overtake our whole existence is the key. So keep such moments short and use them only to motivate ourselves to improve. I honestly believe I have the best of everything – not in comparison to anyone – but in reference to my own life. I have what I need and I work towards what I want – this affirmation helps me keep the comparison bug at bay.

    ❥ tanvii.com
    Tanvi Rastogi recently posted…Three Ways Thursday – Long CardiganMy Profile

  27. Ingrid says:

    When I was younger I did not like being called long and skinny. Now that look is working for me . Also because of my unique personality, some think I am a bit quirky but it works for me as I can relate to any age group.May I dare to say that being unique is what cuts a path for a person through life’s journeys. Like you I now embrace my uniqueness.

  28. Sylvie Anne Hanes says:

    oh, you raise a good question! I sometimes compare myself in order to find those who excel more than I, because I like the idea of following and understand those who succeed. I don’t do it for lack of self-confidence, but for guidance from those who I admire…

    I’ve stopped comparing myself to others for validation, since it would be like comparing apples to oranges – we are all different. Thanks for sharing
    Sylvie Anne Hanes recently posted…Photo of the Week – My Knight in Shining Armor!My Profile

  29. Eloise says:

    Well thanks for sharing your insecurities, that’s never easy to do… as for comparison, I did that with blogging for a quick second and hated how it made me feel so I put that in check and remembered my WHY, why did I start a blog, what do I enjoy about it, etc…
    There must be something in your life you’re not content with, whether it’s career, finances, family life, homelife, etc… You have to figure out what you’re not satisfied with and make a goal to solve it. Once you figure it out, devise a step by step realistic plan and start attacking it, with each step to accomplish you’ll feel better and better about the situation and in turn the comparison with subside (hopefully) ; )
    I wish you luck and happiness!
    Eloise recently posted…Do You Really See The BIG Picture? (Quiz)My Profile

  30. Mel says:

    I’m totally with you, I have a horrible habit of comparing myself whenever life is typically going well. My brain likes to tell me I’m not good enough at the weirdest times and it does this for a few days before finally deciding to shut up. It’s a never ending cycle but I suppose comparison is totally normal. Sometimes comparing ourselves to others can be a good thing if it motivates us to do better.
    Mel recently posted…What Are Essential Oils?My Profile

  31. Cecilia says:

    I think it’s natural to compare yourself to others, but after I stopped I became so much happier. We should instead embrace that we are different and each of us has something unique. Instead of looking at the negatives (what we find is negative), focus on the positives and then you will find that you’re not that all bad, though the demons in our heads tell us otherwise.

  32. Lois Alter Mark says:

    It’s okay to compare yourself to others if you can step back and learn from it. But comparisons can be really bad for self-confidence, even if we never really know what else is going on with someone. It can be hard to remember this, though.

  33. Victoria says:

    Awww we all are guilty of this at one point or another! I’m not sure WHY…that’s a tough, complicated answer. I think it’s just natural. But just keep staying positive and it will pass! 🙂

  34. Elizabeth O says:

    I really feel you. I am struggeling on comparing myself to other than before. The insecurities I felt is so hard to control. But still I keep myself more positive.

  35. Ithfifi says:

    I honestly can not answer why we go through these, but I think we all do it. I am a graduate in comparison but its not healthy unless you are finding a way to improve an aspect you wish to change. Never look for drama to shake things up, look for adventure.
    Ithfifi recently posted…Freehand Pants BearMy Profile

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