I’m Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

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I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. (I drink coffee though, whew!)  Maybe I’m not the apple of their eye either.  Possibly more like the salt on their wounds?  I’ve been told I’m too blunt, too loud, too opinionated, over-the-top dramatic, unable to sit still, unable to live in the moment, yadda yadda yadda.  (Ha, see what I think about those opinions…:-))  I’ve been told these things by people who don’t “get” me.  Do you know who hasn’t told me these things?  My people.

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As I’ve aged (gasp!) in life, I’ve realized that not everyone will love me.  Heck, not everyone will like me.  No matter how hard I try, or what I do, it’s a fact.  And I’m okay with that.  I didn’t used to be, but I am now.  And do you know why I am okay with it now?  Because I have people in my life that love me with every being of their body.  They love me innocently, openly and full-force day in and day out.  All day, every day.  Those are MY people.  My family, my friends.  Those are the ones that I choose to surround myself with and immerse my time with.

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Never again will I dress to impress others.  When my 5-year-old tells me that she wants me to wear mismatched socks with high heels, I’m down.  Why?  Because it makes her heart happy.

When my 9-year-old wants to spend my off time from work together at the local animal shelter, I’ll be her Uber.   I’m happy to chauffeur her. That’s the bottom line.  No questions asked. No moment together wasted.

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Never again will I say “yes” to requests when every being in my body is saying “no.”

Never again will I choose peace and quiet over the laughter and chatter of my girls.

I refuse to put myself first….or last.  I’ve chosen to put myself smack in the middle of my beautiful chaotic life.

Life is a gift, but I want my life, my “presence” to be a gift to my family.   Each and every day, a new adventure. Together.

Throughout my 33 years, I’ve had a lot of great friends.  Some remain, some are gone and some have transitioned more into acquaintances.  The one constant that has remained?  My family.  My core.  While this may sound sappy, and a proclamation of me “finding” myself, it’s more of a realization to step back and be in the moment.  Stop wishing the days away, these days will be over so soon, gone forever.

Maybe I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, I’d rather be a shot of vodka anyway.  😉

What I do know, is that I’m everything to two little girls.  And that is more than enough for me. <3

Cheers to finding peace and realizing the true joys in life, my friends.



138 thoughts on “I’m Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

  1. Jamie says:

    I could have written this blog word for word. I say yes when I want to say no too often. Sometimes I feel like it’s necessary. Like when a friend needs me and I’m feeling anti-social. I need to make time for the people I love- in the same way you take your little to the animal shelter. But, when someone is asking me to do something that is just not something I can physically do- like babysit or take on another responsibility or attend some random social engagement, no. And, though I do still get that people pleasing part of me that makes me feel guilty, I’d rather do that than live with the resentment I feel (unjustly really) by being guilted (normally by my own self) into something! Great post!
    Jamie recently posted…Fall in Love with Pink BlushMy Profile

  2. Kristin says:

    You are so right about this!! I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. I wear what I want, even though it might look dorky. I make weird faces. I often don’t wear makeup. The thing about getting older (I’m 36), is that you just start enjoying life more and not worrying about others. Good for you!!

  3. Glenda says:

    I love this post because I feel the same way like you. When I was younger I tried my hardest to please everyone around me, not anymore… As I get older I feel if they don’t like me that is their problem, not mine. I also rather surround myself with people that love me because they allow me to be me.

  4. Cia Black says:

    Spoken like a true mother. That as me before yes to all kinds of ridiculous things. Once I started saying No and not giving two craps if my no didn’t work for them I found out who friend were and who were accusations.

  5. jessica devlin says:

    You are my cup of tea. I do get tired and put on the occasional show for quiet time but i love a good dirt digging adventure!

  6. Kimberly says:

    Such an important thing to remember! The people we consider family are the ones we need to make extra time for. The days with them are short-lived and precious. Glad to see the happiness flow through your writing!

  7. Tina Grant says:

    Took me a while through my journey of life, that my life is mine, no one else’s, I own it and I live for me. I don’t need anyone’s approval on what I choose to wear, say or do. If you like it you will be by my side and share It with me. It’s up to me to make myself happy, and I choose to do that however I feel.
    Tina Grant recently posted…7 Best Selling Books That Were RejectedMy Profile

  8. Edith says:

    So true and such a great reminder! As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to learn this more and it’s okay to be different. We’re never going to please every one, so might as well be who we really are right!?

  9. Kaitie says:

    I can definitely relate. Last year I was “sure I can” to everyone and I was exhausted all the time. Over the last year I have learned to say no, or maybe, and prioritize what’s important to me. Although I want to be a part of everything for the sake of my children, and yet do all the things I want because I’m also a person (not just a mom), I’ve learned that really making sure I do selected tasks well, then everything at a mediocre level makes for a much happier existence!

  10. juelzjohn says:

    such an awesome post and true words.
    Trying to say yes to everyone as to please them is impossible.One will end up getting drained.
    I find it easier to connect with people who truly love me and I know I care for them as well

  11. Spooky Chic says:

    Absolutely love this! This is something I’ve started doing as well, doing things for myself and saying no more often when I KNOW I don’t want to say yes! Making the people closest to me happy when it makes me happy too!

  12. Emily Terrell says:

    Sing it loud, say it proud! I don’t think enough of this generation seem to realize that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, says, or views towards you. So long as you live to your dreams, beliefs and ideals in life. And enjoy everything as it happens. That’s what really matters.

  13. Melissa says:

    I share so many of your sentiments, especially about really being present with your kids and throwing yourself right into the middle of the chaos. Thanks for sharing this.

  14. Shell says:

    Not everyone will love us, but we won’t love everyone back… our uniqueness is what makes us awesome and we shouldn’t worry if someone doesn’t care for us because for everyone who doesn’t there’s a ton more that do….

  15. Yana says:

    This is such a great opinion piece. It’s so true once you get older you start caring what people think. It more important to take care of your needs and your family’s needs then focus on the negative <3

  16. Nichola - Globalmouse says:

    I think one of the best things about getting older is feeling more confident about being ourselves, not worrying about what other people think. It’s so much nicer than worrying about other people all the time isn’t it?!

  17. Joanna says:

    It’s impossible to be liked by everyone but that’s ok because we are all different. It’s pointless to put too much thinking into why someone doesn’t like us. There are plenty of other people for which we are the centre of their universe. Like you to your daughters.

  18. Josselyn Radillo says:

    I’m a tea kind of girl lol!! but i know what you mean months ago i decided to thinks for myself and stop listening to others and i’m more happy

  19. Cynthia says:

    I loved this quote: “Life is a gift, but I want my life, my “presence” to be a gift to my family. Each and every day, a new adventure. Together.” What a selfless way of thinking, and inspires me to also want to be a gift for my loved ones!
    Cynthia recently posted…Slow Cooker Lamb StewMy Profile

  20. andrea says:

    I thought I was reading a post about me:) Stay true to who you are and screw everyone else! Your daughter will learn so much more watching her mom be proud of who she is instead of trying to fit in. Kudos to you !!!

  21. AnnMarie John says:

    I can relate to this so mucn and I just appreciate your message. I stopped living for others a long time ago and I would rather just focus on my kids, my family. I also learned to love myself more this year. It has been an amazing journey for me.

  22. Joline says:

    I hear ya! I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either 🙂 I realized early on (I think too early LOL!) that I can’t please everyone and really, I don’t want to because why? I gained friends regardless, amazing ones I still have until now. And I’m happily married too. So being myself all worked out after all.

  23. Kate Williams says:

    I love the idea about your mismatched shoes and socks 🙂 I’m a great believer that in a room of ten people 2 will like you, two will hate you and the rest will be indifferent. I’m pretty much only bothered about the first two as well.

  24. La Shell says:

    This is so true. As I have gotten older I have realised that I cant control what people do, who they are and what they think. As a result, not everyone would like me. I do feel jaded at times but in the grand scheme of things, I have the most important people close at heart.

  25. Stephanie says:

    I absolutely love this, and totally could have written it myself. It’s been hard sometimes to realize that others don’t feel the same about you that you do for them. But it’s ok. I’m learning to accept it. I have two little boys who think the world of me, and a husband who loves me, and that is enough for me!
    Stephanie recently posted…4 Questions That New Parents Absolutely HateMy Profile

  26. Angela Tolsma says:

    I love this line

    Never again will I say “yes” to requests when every being in my body is saying “no.”

    In fact you have so many good lines. I don’t think we are suppose to be everyone’s cup of tea (also a shot of vodka is soooo much better). Being who we are, is so much better than trying to please everyone!

  27. Nicole V says:

    I love this! Been going through some things and really needed to read this post. Love the idea of putting yourself right in the middle! Not first or last!

  28. Lauren says:

    Aww I loved this! Reading about your self love is empowering! It’s great that you have learned that you don’t have to impress others! Your family is what matters most! And I really appreciate the love you have for your daughters!

  29. katherine says:

    I aboslutely love this post! And it is so full of truth! Why should we do things just to impress others. Is that being ourselves? Society these days tells us too much to be someone else, so to see this post is such a positivity in the world. And I love the wearing of mismatched socks with heels because it makes your little one happy, wonderful!

  30. My Slice of Happy says:

    It’s so true how this becomes something you just kind of accept as you grow older. There is nothing and no one on the planet that everybody likes! Just how it is. The sooner we realize this, the easier life gets in a way 🙂

  31. Jessica says:

    I love your spirit! I have entered into this exact phase in my life! You can’t please everyone. I have my tribe, and that’s all I need. Keeping marching to the beat of your own drum, it’s amazing!

  32. Krysti says:

    Such an insightful post that can resonate with so many people, including myself. I feel inspired to write a similar honest piece!

  33. Shibani says:

    Such an amazing post. I love the line – “Maybe I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, I’d rather be a shot of vodka anyway. ” I guess it suits me perfectly 😉 just like you. Great inspiring post.

  34. Ramona Spires says:

    Love your post. It’s like I am reading my words. The moment I stop worrying about what others thought me, I really started living me. I’m okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea.

  35. Elizabeth O says:

    If we don’t put ourselves first, no one else will. I love that you have made the decision to focus on what matters; family and friends who truly care.

  36. Kelly says:

    I love this!!! Especially you letting your daughter wear what she wants. It’s so important to 1) choose your battles and 2) do what you can to make her heart happy. I’m definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m A OK with that! Great post.

  37. Anastasia Golovko says:

    So many Yeses to you lady! Girls are ‘trained’ to hate ourselves from childhood, when everyone tells us to ‘be a good girl’. WHY? Why am I supposed to be a good girl? So that some random person who don’t know me will not get upset with me. You are so wise, and your little ones are much more lucky that you understand this.

  38. Brandi H says:

    I love the ending about being a shot of vodka! This is truly a great post. I learned not too long ago about pleasing myself and not others. It seems like a good life lesson that takes a good while to figure out.

  39. Samantha says:

    I think this is a lesson we all come to learn eventually. The most important thing is loving yourself. The rest doesn’t really matter (except our family & true friends).

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