I’m Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea


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I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. (I drink coffee though, whew!)  Maybe I’m not the apple of their eye either.  Possibly more like the salt on their wounds?  I’ve been told I’m too blunt, too loud, too opinionated, over-the-top dramatic, unable to sit still, unable to live in the moment, yadda yadda yadda.  (Ha, see what I think about those opinions…:-))  I’ve been told these things by people who don’t “get” me.  Do you know who hasn’t told me these things?  My people.

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As I’ve aged (gasp!) in life, I’ve realized that not everyone will love me.  Heck, not everyone will like me.  No matter how hard I try, or what I do, it’s a fact.  And I’m okay with that.  I didn’t used to be, but I am now.  And do you know why I am okay with it now?  Because I have people in my life that love me with every being of their body.  They love me innocently, openly and full-force day in and day out.  All day, every day.  Those are MY people.  My family, my friends.  Those are the ones that I choose to surround myself with and immerse my time with.

Related Post: Why My Husband Is Hotter Than My Coffee

Never again will I dress to impress others.  When my 5-year-old tells me that she wants me to wear mismatched socks with high heels, I’m down.  Why?  Because it makes her heart happy.

When my 9-year-old wants to spend my off time from work together at the local animal shelter, I’ll be her Uber.   I’m happy to chauffeur her. That’s the bottom line.  No questions asked. No moment together wasted.

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Never again will I say “yes” to requests when every being in my body is saying “no.”

Never again will I choose peace and quiet over the laughter and chatter of my girls.

I refuse to put myself first….or last.  I’ve chosen to put myself smack in the middle of my beautiful chaotic life.

Life is a gift, but I want my life, my “presence” to be a gift to my family.   Each and every day, a new adventure. Together.

Throughout my 33 years, I’ve had a lot of great friends.  Some remain, some are gone and some have transitioned more into acquaintances.  The one constant that has remained?  My family.  My core.  While this may sound sappy, and a proclamation of me “finding” myself, it’s more of a realization to step back and be in the moment.  Stop wishing the days away, these days will be over so soon, gone forever.

Maybe I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, I’d rather be a shot of vodka anyway.  😉

What I do know, is that I’m everything to two little girls.  And that is more than enough for me. <3

Cheers to finding peace and realizing the true joys in life, my friends.



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138 thoughts on “I’m Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea”

  1. Jamie says:

    I could have written this blog word for word. I say yes when I want to say no too often. Sometimes I feel like it’s necessary. Like when a friend needs me and I’m feeling anti-social. I need to make time for the people I love- in the same way you take your little to the animal shelter. But, when someone is asking me to do something that is just not something I can physically do- like babysit or take on another responsibility or attend some random social engagement, no. And, though I do still get that people pleasing part of me that makes me feel guilty, I’d rather do that than live with the resentment I feel (unjustly really) by being guilted (normally by my own self) into something! Great post!
    Jamie recently posted…Fall in Love with Pink BlushMy Profile

  2. So true… it’s impossible to get on with everyone. Just got to embrace the people who love you for you XX
    Leanne Brookes recently posted…This Bird’s Not Slowing DownMy Profile

  3. Kristin says:

    You are so right about this!! I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. I wear what I want, even though it might look dorky. I make weird faces. I often don’t wear makeup. The thing about getting older (I’m 36), is that you just start enjoying life more and not worrying about others. Good for you!!

    1. Thena says:

      I love making funny faces. 🙂

  4. I get you. I also get that being with your people is the way to live. Here’s to living our way x

  5. Glenda says:

    I love this post because I feel the same way like you. When I was younger I tried my hardest to please everyone around me, not anymore… As I get older I feel if they don’t like me that is their problem, not mine. I also rather surround myself with people that love me because they allow me to be me.

    1. Thena says:

      Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Tiffany says:

    I love this! It is so true, with age we care less about what others think. Wisdom rules!

  7. that’s a very sweet post! it’s always good to be yourself, and not care if people don’t like it (they don’t need to be a part of your life)
    hannanabanana recently posted…(Caturday) Tanning time – tick tock – tan yet?My Profile

  8. Cia Black says:

    Spoken like a true mother. That as me before yes to all kinds of ridiculous things. Once I started saying No and not giving two craps if my no didn’t work for them I found out who friend were and who were accusations.

  9. jessica devlin says:

    You are my cup of tea. I do get tired and put on the occasional show for quiet time but i love a good dirt digging adventure!

  10. Kimberly says:

    Such an important thing to remember! The people we consider family are the ones we need to make extra time for. The days with them are short-lived and precious. Glad to see the happiness flow through your writing!

  11. Tina Grant says:

    Took me a while through my journey of life, that my life is mine, no one else’s, I own it and I live for me. I don’t need anyone’s approval on what I choose to wear, say or do. If you like it you will be by my side and share It with me. It’s up to me to make myself happy, and I choose to do that however I feel.
    Tina Grant recently posted…7 Best Selling Books That Were RejectedMy Profile

  12. Edith says:

    So true and such a great reminder! As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to learn this more and it’s okay to be different. We’re never going to please every one, so might as well be who we really are right!?

  13. Hra says:

    I love your thoughts!! i couldn’t agree with you.. Thanks for sharing with us <3

  14. Kaitie says:

    I can definitely relate. Last year I was “sure I can” to everyone and I was exhausted all the time. Over the last year I have learned to say no, or maybe, and prioritize what’s important to me. Although I want to be a part of everything for the sake of my children, and yet do all the things I want because I’m also a person (not just a mom), I’ve learned that really making sure I do selected tasks well, then everything at a mediocre level makes for a much happier existence!

  15. juelzjohn says:

    such an awesome post and true words.
    Trying to say yes to everyone as to please them is impossible.One will end up getting drained.
    I find it easier to connect with people who truly love me and I know I care for them as well

  16. Elena says:

    I can relate to this post so much I myself know that not everyone will like me but at the same time I do not like everyone either.
    Elena recently posted…The Best Day Trips from LondonMy Profile

  17. Spooky Chic says:

    Absolutely love this! This is something I’ve started doing as well, doing things for myself and saying no more often when I KNOW I don’t want to say yes! Making the people closest to me happy when it makes me happy too!

  18. Sing it loud, say it proud! I don’t think enough of this generation seem to realize that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, says, or views towards you. So long as you live to your dreams, beliefs and ideals in life. And enjoy everything as it happens. That’s what really matters.

  19. Melissa says:

    I share so many of your sentiments, especially about really being present with your kids and throwing yourself right into the middle of the chaos. Thanks for sharing this.

    1. Thena says:

      THanks for reading!!!

  20. Shell says:

    Not everyone will love us, but we won’t love everyone back… our uniqueness is what makes us awesome and we shouldn’t worry if someone doesn’t care for us because for everyone who doesn’t there’s a ton more that do….

  21. Yana says:

    This is such a great opinion piece. It’s so true once you get older you start caring what people think. It more important to take care of your needs and your family’s needs then focus on the negative <3

  22. Very, very true! I really feel the same — its a love or hate thing for me lol. Great post!
    Michael @ Super Millennial recently posted…How to Get Out of the 9-5 Slog from a Rich 20SomethingMy Profile

  23. April Jordan says:

    Haha, great post. My mug at work says “I’d rather be someone’s mug of coffee, than everyone’s cup of tea.” I think you and I are likeminded there!
    April Jordan recently posted…#NoMakeupMondayMy Profile

  24. Ahh I love this! I think I worried for such a long time about what other people thought of me, turns out it doesn’t really matter as long as I love myself.
    five little doves recently posted…Blow-paint monsters with 5 minute funMy Profile

    1. Thena says:

      For sure, that is the truth!

  25. I think one of the best things about getting older is feeling more confident about being ourselves, not worrying about what other people think. It’s so much nicer than worrying about other people all the time isn’t it?!

  26. This is so true! You really can’t please everybody. You may be good or bad, there is still such people will won’t like you. So don’t mind them. Just be yourself and let their insecurities kill there self.
    Margarette Puno recently posted…Incredible Wood-Fired Pizza in HuntsvilleMy Profile

  27. Joanna says:

    It’s impossible to be liked by everyone but that’s ok because we are all different. It’s pointless to put too much thinking into why someone doesn’t like us. There are plenty of other people for which we are the centre of their universe. Like you to your daughters.

  28. Josselyn Radillo says:

    I’m a tea kind of girl lol!! but i know what you mean months ago i decided to thinks for myself and stop listening to others and i’m more happy

  29. Cynthia says:

    I loved this quote: “Life is a gift, but I want my life, my “presence” to be a gift to my family. Each and every day, a new adventure. Together.” What a selfless way of thinking, and inspires me to also want to be a gift for my loved ones!
    Cynthia recently posted…Slow Cooker Lamb StewMy Profile

  30. andrea says:

    I thought I was reading a post about me:) Stay true to who you are and screw everyone else! Your daughter will learn so much more watching her mom be proud of who she is instead of trying to fit in. Kudos to you !!!

  31. I can relate to this so mucn and I just appreciate your message. I stopped living for others a long time ago and I would rather just focus on my kids, my family. I also learned to love myself more this year. It has been an amazing journey for me.

    1. Thena says:

      That is wonderful!

  32. What a great post. I love the way you think. I often put myself last but I should take a leaf out of your book and pop myself in the middle too.

  33. Theres comes a point in life when ypu just have to think about you and your love ones. You have to say NO because if you don’t then you lofe passes you by and you don’t get to love it.

  34. That’s one of the advantages of getting older. We don’t care as much about appearance but more about genuine authenticity. These are great times. I’m with you on that!

  35. Great post – Sadly though, it’s not possible to please or get on with everybody!
    Super Busy Mum recently posted…5 Easy hairstyles for Busy MumsMy Profile

  36. This is utterly beautiful. Definitely a post we could all learn a lot from. In the middle is the very best place x

  37. I’m not even my own cup of tea sometimes lol!

  38. Mel says:

    Sometimes you just have to think about you and yours – you won’t be everyones cup of tea so focus on those whose cup of tea you are
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  39. Joline says:

    I hear ya! I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either 🙂 I realized early on (I think too early LOL!) that I can’t please everyone and really, I don’t want to because why? I gained friends regardless, amazing ones I still have until now. And I’m happily married too. So being myself all worked out after all.

  40. Nina says:

    I love this post so much. I feel the exact same way. I would rather just be me than live a life trying to please others.

  41. All the power to you for recognizing this, and acting as you act on these things! Took me a while to get there 🙂

    1. Thena says:

      But, you’re there!

  42. I love the idea about your mismatched shoes and socks 🙂 I’m a great believer that in a room of ten people 2 will like you, two will hate you and the rest will be indifferent. I’m pretty much only bothered about the first two as well.

  43. Shreya says:

    So true, it is impossible to please everyone and finding peace and living the life and enjoying it is the mantra.
    Cheers to life!

  44. i think living by your own rules and not sweating the small stuff is the most important thing. It’s your life who cares about anyone else’s opinion. cheers!
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  45. Amy Deverson says:

    Love this post! Life is way too short – do what you want and don’t care about what anyone else thinks! 🙂 As long as you and your family are happy, that is all that matters.

  46. Mayuri says:

    I can relate to this post so well as I am also not everyone’s cup of tea. I have a distinct personality and I really don’t want to change for anyone. Also, I really don’t want to change others. I love my flavor the way it is!
    Mayuri recently posted…7 Sitcoms you can watch over and over again!My Profile

  47. Fran says:

    You can’t please all of the people all of the time – so let your own needs come first more often 🙂

  48. La Shell says:

    This is so true. As I have gotten older I have realised that I cant control what people do, who they are and what they think. As a result, not everyone would like me. I do feel jaded at times but in the grand scheme of things, I have the most important people close at heart.

    1. Thena says:

      That is wonderful!

  49. Stephanie says:

    I absolutely love this, and totally could have written it myself. It’s been hard sometimes to realize that others don’t feel the same about you that you do for them. But it’s ok. I’m learning to accept it. I have two little boys who think the world of me, and a husband who loves me, and that is enough for me!
    Stephanie recently posted…4 Questions That New Parents Absolutely HateMy Profile

    1. Thena says:

      Sounds like an amazing life!!

  50. I love this line

    Never again will I say “yes” to requests when every being in my body is saying “no.”

    In fact you have so many good lines. I don’t think we are suppose to be everyone’s cup of tea (also a shot of vodka is soooo much better). Being who we are, is so much better than trying to please everyone!

  51. Nicole V says:

    I love this! Been going through some things and really needed to read this post. Love the idea of putting yourself right in the middle! Not first or last!

  52. Cait says:

    Sing it girl!! 💁🏻💁🏻 Love this empowering post!

  53. Lauren says:

    Aww I loved this! Reading about your self love is empowering! It’s great that you have learned that you don’t have to impress others! Your family is what matters most! And I really appreciate the love you have for your daughters!

  54. May says:

    This completely resonates with me on a few levels!

  55. katherine says:

    I aboslutely love this post! And it is so full of truth! Why should we do things just to impress others. Is that being ourselves? Society these days tells us too much to be someone else, so to see this post is such a positivity in the world. And I love the wearing of mismatched socks with heels because it makes your little one happy, wonderful!

  56. princy says:

    oh my God ! you seem like a soul sister I may have lost – this is all so true for me too!
    thank God I am not alone 🙂 well written. loved it
    princy recently posted…Open Letter to my son !My Profile

  57. Oyinkan says:

    I’m not everyone’s cup of tea neither & I’ve always been okay with that. Not everyone is meant to be in life. & it’s cool 🙂
    Oyinkan recently posted…Lady In Red | NYFW SS18 Day 3My Profile

  58. It’s so true how this becomes something you just kind of accept as you grow older. There is nothing and no one on the planet that everybody likes! Just how it is. The sooner we realize this, the easier life gets in a way 🙂

  59. Jill Conyers says:

    Finding the true joys in life even when it feels like there aren’t any has been key to my wellness.
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  60. Love this post! So entertaining to read! I love the example about your daughter wanting you to wear mismatching socks. Thanks for sharing!

  61. Jessica says:

    I love your spirit! I have entered into this exact phase in my life! You can’t please everyone. I have my tribe, and that’s all I need. Keeping marching to the beat of your own drum, it’s amazing!

  62. Krysti says:

    Such an insightful post that can resonate with so many people, including myself. I feel inspired to write a similar honest piece!

  63. Your post really spoke to me today!!! I wish I had learned this sooner in life! Please, be my life coach!
    Debbie Savage recently posted…These Pants Are Made For Walking! Best Denim Jeans Ever!My Profile

    1. Thena says:

      Haha, I love it. We can totally be each other’s support system!

  64. I agree with you about jumping into the center of your life. You can’t put yourself last or first. You need to think of others, and you need to be able to take care of yourself at the same time.
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  65. justine says:

    SAME!! as i’ve gotten older i’ve definitely stopped caring as much and let me tell you, it’s SO refreshing!

  66. I love everything about this! No one can be everyone’s cup of tea – and who cares? Just be yourself always. The haters are unimportant in your life!

  67. Shibani says:

    Such an amazing post. I love the line – “Maybe I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, I’d rather be a shot of vodka anyway. ” I guess it suits me perfectly 😉 just like you. Great inspiring post.

  68. Cheers to vodka, sis! I love how supportive the community is here. So many strong independent women!


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  69. Ramona Spires says:

    Love your post. It’s like I am reading my words. The moment I stop worrying about what others thought me, I really started living me. I’m okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea.

    1. Thena says:

      Good for you!!!!! 🙂

  70. Jen Temcio says:

    Being where you are in life is such a relief and very empowering. I think that this will rub off on your girls in ways that build their confidence. (I am a shot of vodka too.)
    Jen Temcio recently posted…How to Inspire Positive Thinking (Positive Thinking Day is September 13th)My Profile

  71. Elizabeth O says:

    If we don’t put ourselves first, no one else will. I love that you have made the decision to focus on what matters; family and friends who truly care.

  72. Kelly says:

    I love this!!! Especially you letting your daughter wear what she wants. It’s so important to 1) choose your battles and 2) do what you can to make her heart happy. I’m definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m A OK with that! Great post.

  73. I think this is something that years for people to get to the point where you are at. I know it took me time, but I too understand that not everyone will like me and that is perfectly ok. I don’t need everyone to like me and those that matter love me just the way I am.
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  74. What you wrote is so so so wonderful! I think more people should be concerned with being true to themselves. It’s so much more stressful to always live life the way other people want if it’s not what someone really wants. People will always have their opinions and I prefer to ignore them!
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  75. So many Yeses to you lady! Girls are ‘trained’ to hate ourselves from childhood, when everyone tells us to ‘be a good girl’. WHY? Why am I supposed to be a good girl? So that some random person who don’t know me will not get upset with me. You are so wise, and your little ones are much more lucky that you understand this.

  76. Yaaaaaas girl! Why sacrifice your&your beloved’s happiness for something others may/may not think. My motto in life is ‘you do you boo’. Just because others do things one way, why should I?!

  77. Luci says:

    Yes, girl, I am on the same boat with you. I’ve been called a B because I am really blunt and I don’t take any BS from anyone. I’m okay being called that because I am who I am.
    Luci recently posted…Honey Butter BreadMy Profile

  78. Brandi H says:

    I love the ending about being a shot of vodka! This is truly a great post. I learned not too long ago about pleasing myself and not others. It seems like a good life lesson that takes a good while to figure out.

  79. Ingrid says:

    You said ” Never try to impress others” I agree. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Now I just try to be the best ‘me” I can be

  80. Nathanielle says:

    This is a great post. The moment I decided to not worry so much about what other people think of me, was the best. I’s ok to be selfish and worry about our well being.

  81. Tiffany Yong says:

    I love tea, so I might not be your cup of coffee~ I totally agree with doing what makes your mind and body feels happy, because it goes a longer way than trying to make someone else happy and you sad~
    Tiffany Yong recently posted…Mrs K Movie ReviewMy Profile

  82. Samantha says:

    I think this is a lesson we all come to learn eventually. The most important thing is loving yourself. The rest doesn’t really matter (except our family & true friends).

  83. Love this post, and couldn’t agree with you more. You have to do what makes you happy x
    Stephanie Merry recently posted…The new and improved Clarins Double SerumMy Profile

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