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If you are like me, you never sleep. and by never sleep…I mean, maybe a few hours of sleep per night but waking up exhausted because your mind was racing the entire time. If I had a fitbit that tracked my sleep, I have a feeling I’d wake up with just a line of question marks…asking me, “what the heck happened?”. When I never sleep, I never have dreams…and I feel like my mind is on constantly. Sound all too familiar, right?
If my calculations are correct…I haven’t slept well in about 10 years. Now, this number may correlate with the birth of our first child….(shocking to all you parents out there, right!?) but if I were to assume correctly, that isn’t the sole purpose of my restless sleep. My assumptions of 3,650 restless sleep nights (my math teacher from high school was correct…I would use math one day! ;-)) would be from a compilation of children, my ever growing to-do list, my bed being too old, I have a really good book I need to finish, my mind thinking that sleep is a waste of time when I could be doing something productive, my legs hurt, too hot/too cold, yadda yadda yadda – always something it seems, never a pattern as to what though….but then, when I woke up today, I thought…maybe it’s about what I’m putting in my mind right BEFORE I go to sleep as well….like a book I’d been reading, or a TV show/movie that I’d recently watched. So, here is my random thought of the day..what if I started to tell myself a bedtime story before bed each night? As an adult, have you ever given yourself a bedtime story? Sounds a little corny, right? Well, I think it could be amazing. Real potential here, folks….hear me out.
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As a child growing up, bedtime stories were the absolute best. Full of wonder and laughter, love, friendship, magic…the world was pure, anything was possible. You were the hero, or got to eat cupcakes for every meal…everyday was Christmas or it was always your birthday. Whatever, it didn’t matter. It was YOUR story…you created it. But then, life began to speed up…those bedtime stories became a little “baby-ish” and they just suddenly stopped, along with the magic and dreaming.
Truth is, as we get older, our worlds can easily turn a bit colder. The magic and innocence is still there, but it requires some searching and is a little harder to see. I want, and need, to get back on that bandwagon. I need to try to find more faith in the innocence of the world. How? While I don’t know the answer 100%, I’m willing to try. and by trying, my first step is to bring back my bedtime stories.
Tonight, when getting snuggled up in bed, I”ll be creating a story in my mind to take me away to LaLa Land. I think tonight, I’ll be an owner of a little bookstore in Italy. Our girls will help me find books throughout the country to bring home and sell and my husband will assist in building bookshelves to store our rare finds. We’ll eat pizza every day, for every meal and for desert, gelato (the good kind, not the pistachio flavor – eek!). We will have no car and walk everywhere and rely on the kindness of strangers to discover the uniqueness of each and every day. At night, we’ll gather around our fireplace and play a game or read a book and snuggle up, recounting the fun finds we discovered throughout our daily journey.
Geez Louise, I’m already at peace just typing those thoughts out. Why haven’t I done this mental break sooner???!!! Memories are flooding back to me about how much I loved bedtime stories and I now totally remember why. Every sentence, every choice – is mine. I create the destiny, the outcome. I dream up the fun, the excitement.
Tonight, after my bedtime story, I’m hoping for a more relaxed and at peace sleep. Maybe I’ll drift off in my memory to the land of Italy..maybe not. But, one thing is for certain….I’ll be opening up my mind to the innocent thought of all things good and pure, and for me, that’s a great place to be. <3
If you could create your own bedtime story to help you rest, what would you dream about?